There are moments that I like better than others.
There are situations that I would rather avoid.
There are doubts that I would rather not have.
Sounds as if I am dissatisfied with a part of my being... or as if my equanimity is not so advanced that I do not yet recognize that ripple in the outside as such and let it ripple, while I manifest the world peace as a light-iron Buddha and thereby focus on my third eye.
What a serene conception of what is, for me, a very detached existence.
If I came here on earth to experience this and that, then my soul is up for it. Or? Probably even more than chilling with its soul buddies in the soul lounge and sipping indescribably delicious ether cocktails. Hard to understand from my lens, because as you read above, I'd often rather be anywhere else.
What's with all this cheese then?
How is it that we come here to Earth only to want to "leave" afterwards? How is it possible that we question this experience that we seem to have chosen for ourselves after all?
My answer today is.....
(drum roll please & confetti at the ready).
(throw confetti in the air and cheer).
Lately, I've been confronted with situations that were so uncomfortable that part of me thought: No fucking way! Right now, for me, these are situations of separation from my soul mate.Heartbreak that makes my inner child scream and my alarm bells ring.
And most of the time, after trying to put out the fire of separation with proper kerosene, I realize that there is nothing I can do. Nothing that will change this situation, make the world whole, and conjure up the happy ending I saw on TV at some point.
The only thing left for me to do is.... (drum roll again) to trust.
And for me, to trust means to acknowledge the situation, to accept it, and to see that it couldn't have turned out any other way. Otherwise things would have turned out differently. And from this insight to say: Okay, then that's the way it is now. That's the way it is and no other way. Trusting means not running away, looking for help or distracting myself, but facing the situation and all the emotions and feelings associated with it.
Feeling the fear, crying and nodding. Acknowledging myself, my inner child and my partner. Until at some point the first deep breath comes, feeling a little lighter. The final nose blowing that reminds me where I am, who I am and why I am. Then I get up and make myself a cup of Kakao or a cup of tea, sit on the couch or at the computer and do whatever I feel like doing. Trusting that I have done my utmost and best and am now allowed to be again.
This is what my trust process looked like this morning.
And what did you have for breakfast?
Picture by @beate.groetsch - Thank you!
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