The last few days have been marked by fundamental rethinking for me. As Mischa of cocoa, it seems somehow obvious what I do, namely cocoa. On closer inspection, however, it becomes clear that not all cocoa is the same. In the last few weeks I have entered a spiral of sales, profits and, above all, expectations. Expectations of myself, my business, my customers and also expectations of cocoa. It came so slowly. With the new factory and the new, great cocoa, sales must also increase. Like last month, or the month before. Just a little bit! Then I'll be happy and satisfied. STOP! No, no and no again. I've become aware of that in the last few days. This old hamster wheel that had me firmly in its grip is hardly any better than that of the banker or real estate agent. It is anchored in the outside world and has a lack at its core. The thought that there is something to achieve. Happiness out there. A little further away than I can reach. Just a little bit.

And I fell for it again. In all my spirituality, meditation and contemplation. It was noticeable. Noticeably tight, dense and exhausting. As if I wanted to squeeze myself through a colander, only less tasty. "If I sell as much cocoa as possible, then I will reach as many people as possible and thereby realize my vision of a healthy, open-hearted world!" that's what my mind thought. A hamster wheel of the highest order, which I can now leave after a shamanic journey. How painful it is to realize that the path that seemed so golden has turned out to be made of wood and has holes. It is becoming increasingly clear to me (and no longer just intellectually) that both cocoa, my business and my vision belong to a new era. An era that is not characterized by expectation-laden thinking, strategic marketing and return on investment. I am fed up of comparing sales figures and craving the little bit of dopamine that spreads through me when I have four-digit daily sales figures, like heroin in the veins of an addict. It sounds crazy, and it is. We are thrown into this system and get applause from above when we run particularly fast in circles. When we work particularly hard. Some mothers would say "what a good boy, and how fast he can run!"

The last few days have shown me: That is not me. Even more: This way of thinking robs me of my freedom, my essence. It eats me up and leaves me a starving skeleton.

I hereby resolve to abandon this old way of thinking, these old concepts and patterns. To reflect on why I am floating around on this planet. Because I am not here to become the greatest cocoa seller of all time, to build the fanciest yurt and have myself fed cocoa-coated, seedless grapes. Even if this idea makes me smile. I am here to create a basis with cocoa. To offer a foundation that enables people to feel themselves and others. I am here to show a new way. The way of the heart, of gratitude and enjoyment. That is my vision. That is my mission. And cocoa is the materialized form of exactly that. Cocoa provides the basis for a state of mind that encourages us to feel. Inspires and motivates us. It is precisely this energy that I want to pass on: that of inspiration, curiosity and joy.

What it could mean, however, is that I focus on communicating this vision more to the outside world. To speak to you and others. In videos, podcasts, newsletters and blog posts. And to lose myself less in increasing sales, social media likes and IG story reposts. It's going to be tangible and I'm looking forward to it! I'm looking forward to reaching people with my grounded and clear way and sowing seeds. To show myself, to dance and to let go.

How will this affect my business? Who knows! I would rather go broke on the path to my heart than run around in the hamster wheel. It's time to let go. Again.

Thanks for listening and maybe see you soon. Your Mischa.

Great picture by @groetsch.beate